Autumn winds
Mood:  sad
Autumn leaves scurry along black pavement,
And buses mow down, what was once alive,
Like broken dreams their colour dims,
Once soft and vibrant,
And now, a mere remnant of its glory,

And I walk along this dark road,
The wind filling the air with coldness,
As my hands search for warmth in the depths of my pockets,
I ask myself, why?
Why have I fallen so short again?

All those dreams I had, all those goals for myself?
Where have they gone?
Why am I stagnant?
I’m not afraid, but I need direction, a fresh focus in my life,
A little Engagement and interaction with something I desire.

If I could only know, what that is.

If only this deep void in my heart would be filled,

If only this confidence could be fuelled by an active desire,
A hope and a belief that my actions could make a difference,
Then,

I think I’d be fine.

Confusion with no reason
Mood:  don't ask
Confusion


There are times when you’re walking alone, and for no apparent reason, you feel overwhelmed by confusion and frustrationg. You want to just run or hide and you can’t decide on which.
There are so many things you want to do in life, and yet, it seems you haven’t done anything. You haven’t even come close to the grand plans you make for yourself.
And then you question, how long? How long will it take to find success? How long will I be in this transitory state?

Do you know the feeling, when everything you want to be, everything you dream for and everything that you envisage? It’s just so far away. But the odd thing is that it’s not a question of confidence or courage. It’s more about choices, and which you will end up chosing.

To be a businessman, to drive a porsche, to be poor but spiritually rich, to give back all the opportunities I have had in my life, to help others. Am I a charity worker or a creativer writer, a politician in the making? A lawyer? An entrepreneur?

Choices:
We are all faced with choices, no matter how significant or insignificant, every single day we have a choice to improve ourselves. There is something we can do, to tackle our fears, to help others. If I was motivated every single day as I got up in the morning to truly learn and to help, there would be tangible differences in my life.

If you could list the things you want in your life right now, what would it be?
Would you want a car, a first class honour degree, a closer spiritual relationship with your God, to fix a broken relationship?

I guess for me it would be to get closer to God, to live my life in line with the sometimes impossible moral values. I know thath I am so far away, but I also know that I have the ability to get closer.
I am aware that I am in a constant search for my calling in life. Maybe my whole life will be a search for that calling – or maybe I will find it tommorrow. But with God’s help I know I can find it.

With the talents we have been blessed with, we must be forever grateful and we must do all that we can with those talents. Our talents and gifts are God’s blessing to us, and what we do with that talent is our gift to God.

With hope and prayer, maybe I will rid myself of this confusion and agitation – and at least find some peace in myself through the pursuit of my goals and aims in life.

My first blog
Mood:  not sure
OK, so this is my first blog. I feel like I've finally jumped on the bandwagon of the information superhighway.

TO be honest, I'm a little confused on what a blog actually means. But I'm apparently writing one anyway.

All i know is that, these 'blogs' might come in to the view of others. And thats what I want. An avenue to express my views on ANYTHING. An opportunity to shout out at the things that piss me off, applaud the things that make me happy. And just generally write about all the crazy things that make up our lives in this crazy generation.

So, expect many blogs from me.
And It's be great to hear from you as well.